The drama, ‘What’s Up’ is now done, so it’s a little bit okay. When I was really busy, I would sleep for about 2 hours and during my sleep I would think, “Ah, it’s going to be really hard for me wake up tomorrow.”
GQ: When you have a tiring morning like that, what do you think about to get yourself up?
DS: When you’re sleep talking, you continuously say “5 more minutes, 5 more minutes”. I’m already awake and if someone comes 5 minutes later to wake me up, I’m sure they’ll feel pretty annoyed, so that’s what I think about. I also think “Let’s not be woken up by someone else, but be woken up by myself.” And truthfully, since Seungri and I are the youngest members, we have to get into the habit of the start of washing, so that the others come out one by one. We have to finish quickly.
GQ: Try complaining a little.
DS: Truthfully, I complained a lot a long time ago. But there was a turning point. It was when I got into an accident last year. Before that, I was in the musical, ‘Cats,’ did MC, appeared on variety shows, performed as Big Bang and it was just a busy time for me so I complained during that time. But after the accident, I couldn’t taste the food for about a month or two, I couldn’t smell anything and I couldn’t even talk. During that time, umm…I don’t know if this will be featured on the interview or not but I repented a lot.
GQ: Repented?
DS: Because I complained with the excuse of being busy, I became careless. Just once more, at least my real voice, I was fine with my taste or senses not returning, but if only I got my voice back, from now on, no matter how busy I am, I prayed that I would live without any complaints. And so 2 to 3 months later, I got my voice back.
GQ: Do you believe it was the power of prayer?
DS: Well, the doctor said as time passes, that it would slowly come back. heh heh. Anyways, since I had that kind of experience, no matter how busy I am, I live by thinking back to that moment.
GQ: So you don’t use vulgar language?
DS: I think about my complaints to myself. I would say something like, “Everything is just so hard.” I’m the type that doesn’t really talk much whether I’m in a good or bad mood.
GQ: You’re going to go bald if you keep doing that.
DS: I went to the clinic not too long ago and the doctor did various tests and told me I had anger within my heart. So I said, “Anger? Me?” Then he replied by saying, “It seems like you’ve bottled up a lot of things within you.” (laughs)
GQ: What did you bottle up inside? Does your heart feel suffocated when you think about things these days?
DS: Um, I’m not sure. Concerns you say…ah…ha…What should I say…you see…
GQ: The members often said you don’t really talk about yourself on variety
DS: shows so you must feel suffocated.
Ah, I guess I’m just not cut out for it. This personality is really…I don’t really talk to others about my concerns. The biggest reason is, I feel bad.
GQ: To whom?
DS: I would feel bad towards the person who’s listening, don’t you think? I mean, I’m sure this person has enough concerns in their life and I’m sure they’re busy with those so if I tell them about mine to this person, then that person has to push their concerns aside and would have to try to help mine.
GQ: You can always listen to each others’ concerns and try to figure it out together because it’s not like you have to be on their case like when you’re borrowing money and it can be something really simple.
DS: Before, I used to listen to the concerns of others. Then, the people around me often said, “You only listen to my concerns, but I don’t know anything about you.” Others even said, “I thought you were a warm person, but as I got to know you, you’re a cold person.” They said they saw a different side of me and sometimes said I overdo things. That’s why these days I try to talk to people about my concerns.
GQ: Don’t you feel a bit disappointed from watching on the sidelines?
DS: Not at all. I think I lack confidence when it comes to solo activities. A lot of people have asked if I was sad about it. Every time I would just say I’m not sad, it’s just I’m not confident in doing that yet. I want to do it when I’m in a prepared state.
GQ: You’ve gained a lot as Big Bang and you’ve been recognized by many already. Don’t you think you’re thinking too short of yourself?
DS: As soon as I debuted, I injured my vocal chords. That’s why 8 out of 10 times, I sang out of tune on stage. When Big Bang debuted, we wanted to break the stereotypical idol image and that was our concept, but I lacked in skills so I got scolded a lot. Truthfully, they didn’t scold me that much. I was the one who kept on digging my own grave. That’s when I had stage fright. I often think, to this day, if I’ll be able to do well on stage by myself. I think I want to build myself up a bit more and then go on stage.
GQ: You can build yourself up by going up against it.
DS: Rather than standing on stage filled with anxiety and then making a mistake and getting stage fright again, I think it would be better if I take as much time as I need. If I had confidence, I would be able to do well even if I didn’t sing well. You probably don’t know what that means right? What I’m saying is, if I had confidence, the people listening would say, “wow, he has energy and feel to it,” and so even if I don’t do well, I’m still doing well, but if I lacked confidence, I wouldn’t do well even if I am doing well.
GQ: I’m sure the fans have a curious heart regarding your solo activities, but more than that, they’re worried that Daesung is in a situation where he’s not able to do things he wants to do. The fans wrote, ‘A request regarding the singer, Kang Daesung,’ did you see it? It was a request about how YG should support your singer activity and to be more considerate.
DS: Oh, right. I know about that. Oh, I really have nothing to say about that. What can I say about that. (laughs) It’s all my fault. The agency isn’t blocking me or anything of that sort. They’re more like, “If there’s something you’d rather do then do it, we’ll support you to the best of our abilities.” First, I want to work hard in production, so that the president will be satisfied and an album will be able to come out. Compared to the other members, I have more things.
GQ: More things?
DS: I have more work to do. I do variety, luckily, I was able to do a drama, and I’ve done musicals a couple of time. In a way, you can say I’m blessed. But because of those things, I’ve become a bit busy.
GQ: Usually, a masterpiece would come out when one’s busy right? So when will it really come out?
DS: (Placing the recorder close as if it was a mic) To all the fans, I’m sorry for making your necks fall off. (T/N: Metaphoric Speech. He doesn’t mean the part about the neck literally) I’ll make sure to push your neck in deep enough so please just wait a big longer. For now, I want to concentrate everything while promoting as Big Bang. Soon, I’ll come out with one too.
GQ: What kind of music are you going to show?
DS: I’m balancing it out a bit right now. The thoughts that the agency and that I have personally, is…ah, it’s a secret. Even if I wanted to say it, it’s really a secret. I’ll tell you later. (smiles)
GQ: Why are you being like this, seriously. Is the range of balancing things out wide?
DS: Yes. I like music that are deep and moving. What I mean by deep is…towards the popular…ah, truthfully, I don’t think this should go out in the article. I don’t think I’m able to control whether it’s popular or not. I’m only thinking about myself, the agency have to think about the image that the people are thinking about and we have to match those two together so I think that’s why our thoughts are clashing against each other.
GQ: What kind of color would you categorize the music you want to do?
DS: Kind of a brownish color. Right now, the company is taking that and trying to change it to a brownish orange color.
GQ: Do you have a brownish music on your iPhone?
DS: Yes. I tend to listen to a lot of R&B and Jazz. One time, TOP really wanted to listen to hip-hop and because his player ran out of battery, he took mine. As soon as he listened to it, he said, “whew.” It’s because there was no hip-hop. (laughs) Anyways, I consider these kinds of music a brownish color. I think the ability to lead this into the road where everyone will like it is needed. That’s why, the brownish color won’t be removed at all, but on top of the brownish orange color, the brownish will be added to guide in that direction.
DS: Personally, ‘Cafe.’ Originally, it wasn’t my part. Most of the parts in the song are sung in high tone. I can’t really sing that high. My voice becomes hoarse quick and within the 24 hours, my voice is warmed up good for an hour. Even though my voice is like that, I like singing in high tone. I like listening to it and singing it. We first recorded my singing in high tone, but no matter how many times I tried, it just wouldn’t come out right. So I suggested I do the 2nd verse. Luckily, it matched well so I like it.
GQ: Isn’t it fun to be on stage these days? It shows.
DS: Because I was hungry to be on stage. I think the other members felt it earlier. I’m now able to feel an accomplishment. Before, I felt like going on stage was like doing homework. But this time, when I stand on stage, I really like it and that’s the only thought that goes through my head. As I’m singing and when I turn around and look at the stage, I say, “Ah, I really like this.”
GQ: The music video was very hot…
DS: Ahahaha. That scene? As soon as we landed in America, I was told I had to film a scene on a bed with a female model. I thought about it at first. I knew it was going to be awkward, and then the filming atmosphere isn’t going to be good and then it’s going to get edited out. So I said, if I’m going to to do this, might as well do it right so that it won’t be edited out so I closed my eyes tightly and filmed it.
GQ: It doesn’t seem that way cause you’ve got sexier these days. Maybe you’ve become more manlier?
DS: Really? Rather than hearing that I’m sexy, the members keep telling me that I’m provocative. Seriously, no matter what I wear, they say I’m provocative. I first thought they were joking around. A couple of days ago, during a photo shoot, the director told me my eyes were provocative, all of a sudden! I guess I have become provocative. I guess I have something in me.
GQ: Is there something that you’re doing?
DS: I don’t do anything. It’s a very awkward question to ask at 2 o’clock in the morning. Oh, my friend said I lack love. He’s studying psychology and whenever I talk, he’s always doing something. He would either keep folding the paper that’s here, or tear tissues, he just can’t stay still. He said that’s the sign of lack of love. (laughs) But when I think about it, I understand it perfectly, but at the same time I think I’m not in the situation where I would lack love…
GQ: Your ideal type has been the same for a couple of years, “Someone who will only love me and has a pretty smile” and you can see through that.
DS: (smiles) Seems that way right? I wonder how many years its been since I haven’t changed it? An ideal type changes after going out with someone and then breaking up, but I haven’t gotten near that point and I’m not in the position where I can go up to them first.
GQ: Why don’t you try going places. Where do you usually hang out?
DS: I’m usually at home. When I don’t have any schedule, I stay home and download movies. I don’t really like going outside. I like to listen to music, sleep, and eat by myself. I’m the type that doesn’t like being a burden to others and getting burdened on myself by others.
GQ: What’s wrong with burdening others and hearing things you don’t want to hear? If you get used to hearing it, it can get more comfortable for you.
DS: When others say, “This happened because of him,” and I hear that, I get, oh man, really upset. I think it could also be because of my father. Ever since I was little, I had the thought, “I can’t show my weak side to others.” There was a lot of tension within my house as well.
GQ: One time, Hyori called you an ‘edgy guy.’ That’s a Daesung that’s different from now right?
DS: That was when I first met Jung Jaehyung with Hyori and then the next day I went to his house without notice and that’s why she called me that. Now that I think about it, it was an act that wasn’t like me truthfully. (smiles) I think it was because I was being selfish about my solo album production. I don’t know how I did it.
GQ: From now on, if you didn’t care about what others said or thought, what would you want to do?
DS: Hmm…I want to drink alcohol as much as I want, up to the point where I can’t remember a thing. Then I want to show off my drunk habits that’s hard to see to others. I learned how to drink from Hyori. From the ‘Family Outing’ family. That’s why, every time we went out to drink, I was always the youngest and I would always drink with my mind intact because I have to clean up afterward. I want to know the feeling of your mind going blank. What’s it like?
GQ: Hmm, it’s not a good feeling. It’s the end of burdening. But because of that, I want to suggest to you to try to see what it’s like for your mind to go blank.
DS: I think I’ll be able to do it if I didn’t have any schedule for a week. When I drink alcohol, my voice condition becomes bad for about a month. Since it’ll bring great harm during a show or recording, I think I’ll need about a week.
GQ: Don’t you drink with your junior singers?
DS: I don’t have any good junior singer friends. My connections are mostly from the ‘Family Outing,’ family and ‘Night After Night’ family.
GQ: When you’re doing a variety show, do you feel stressed because of the song, stage, Big Bang, and your voice?
DS: They’re all good seniors. But when I’m there, there’s a different stress that I have on a variety show. Truthfully, variety is a game that brings headaches. It’s seriously a thinking game. When you watch it on television, I just go my own way, laugh and talk a lot but in reality, I have a lot to think about at the studio. Starting from when I should start talking to my facial expressions.
GQ: What kind of plans did you make for the thinking game?
DS: It’s something that I think about while I’m talking and it’s good to make it so that the other person isn’t offended and everyone can laugh about it. If the other person brought me down and if it’s funny, other people will think it’s really funny, but I won’t feel good about it. That’s why, if everyone laughed with a good feeling, I think the price of that laughter will be worth more.
GQ: Your words are penetrating through the bones. A couple of days ago, there was an issue on ‘Night After Night.’ The guests and the MCs were saying not so good things about your looks and because of that, the fans disapproved to the writers. Eventually, the writers apologized. At first I thought, was that really necessary but then I thought, it could be a situation where you wouldn’t feel good. What do you think?
DS: Ah, well for me, I don’t feel bad at all. What you said just now, it wasn’t meant to be said in that way. Truthfully, why I say that is because I don’t think like that at all. So I just looked over it coolly.
GQ: So you don’t think of yourself as ugly?
DS: Well I don’t think I’m ugly but I don’t think I’m good looking either. I think I just look like Daesung. That’s why when other people tell stories about how ugly I am and when we all laugh together, I feel good about it and I think positively about it. I seriously have never heard from anyone that I’m ugly but I don’t know why the fans…I guess the fans really think that I’m ugly.
GQ: I’ll give you the mic.
DS: I don’t feel bad about it, even though others tell me I’m ugly, because in variety shows, I’m definitely not ugly. If you guys think that way, that will make me more miserable. (smiles)
GQ: Haha. This is the last question. 5 years later, at this exact time, what will Daesung be doing?
DS: Big Bang’s 10th anniversary ‘GQ’ commemoration shoot?
GQ: Being as active?
DS: Yes. I can’t guarantee anything but because everyone is satisfied with Big Bang’s music and stage.
P/S: Dae's Interview is quite long but so worthy!^^
Source: Hing Daesung @ Naver Blog + Trans: solshin3@21bangs.com
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