'Want to become that kind of person who ‘will devote all of his youth to his work’
This busy and supreme Korean artist has attracted attention from us as an artist now. He might not be so familiar to our readers. However, his insatiable passion and ambition towards his career is really outstanding and appreciative.
We have known TOP beforehand for his brilliant standard of singing and his charming stage performance. He is also a member of the very popular band ‘BIGBANG’ in Japan, not to mention in Korea. He is characterized by his handsome look and surprisingly distinguished ‘tenor’ voice. His performances are always fashionable and masculine which gives us an unique feeling of existence. He is not only popular among girls but also boys.
Moreover, his talent is not only limited to music. In the drama ‘IRIS’ which have also been shown in Japan,TOP was the cool killer and he broke the stereotype of ‘singers cannot act’. It is unimaginable that in a person like him, we can find the trace of loneness that is beyond description.
He really enjoys what he is doing now. TOP said comparing to falling in love and playing, he prefers totally obsessed in his work.
‘For example, when I was recalling my past memories, I have also the memory of ‘loving someone so crazily’. But when compared to love memories, I want to become that kind of person who will ‘devote all of his youth to his career’. Then, when I recall my memories in the future, I can proudly say I have not wasted even 1 day of my life since I had worked really hard ’
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Has he ever suffered because of it? No matter what, TOP still chose to take this path. He made such a surprising confession in Japan despite the fact that he has becoming more and more popular in Japan, not to mention in Korea.
‘There has been such a period of time that after I had finished all of my acting and shooting, I returned to my room which I have no companion. Suddenly, I could no longer distinguish whether I was in the reality or not. Yes, I have had experienced such a period of time before. I have suffered insomnia because of this too. The frequency was not low too.'
Moreover, his talent is not only limited to music. In the drama ‘IRIS’ which have also been shown in Japan,TOP was the cool killer and he broke the stereotype of ‘singers cannot act’. It is unimaginable that in a person like him, we can find the trace of loneness that is beyond description.
‘I had to be TOP when I was on the stage and had to transform into the character in the drama. When I returned to my own identity after transforming to and fro these two characters, I would ponder, ‘Who am I actually?’ There were times that I did not know how my original self looked like.’
Perhaps it maybe due to his being in such an exciting showbiz, he would have such an identity crisis. When the lime light dimmed, then so did his real self and so he lost his direction too. In such a period of time, he was granted the chance of acting in ‘Into The Fire’.
‘When I was invited to take part in the film, I was doing a Japan tour and preparing my SOLO album at the same time, so I once thought that I should reject the offer. However, after I had read the script, I changed my mind. I thought it might be not easy to handle all the things at the same time but it might be another opportunity for me to discover something.’
The Korean War which was portrayed in the film was really existed. It is a story about the Korean army and student soldiers. The film set against the background of the attack of the North Korea, although they did not have any war experience, they still chose to fight in the war to protect their country. The film also depicted the cruelty and instability of war. TOP’s character moved the audience to tears by his story. In Korea, there are many people whose heart chord are struck by his role who suffered of insecurity and fright but at the same time upheld his identity as the students leader and finally transformed into a strong character. He also won the best newcomer prize of ‘Oscar of Korea’ – The Blue Dragon Film Festival but what he got not only limited to a prize.
‘Comparing to showing how my character suffered physically, it was more difficult to portray the helpless feeling that he was forced to join the war. I had practiced my facial expression in front of the mirror many times and I did not go out. I had also wondering why the students had to join the war and what kind of feelings they were having at that time. There were nights that I could not sleep since I was thinking about all of these. However, I got a lot of inspirations from this procedure,for example, what courage is, how much sacrifice that people has made to achieve the world peace that we are enjoying now and what I should do,etc. I feel that I have really enlightened a lot. The story is about how the character was growing but I myself has also transformed into a more mature person after the filmming.’
He is also happy about there are youngsters who pay attention to this film for he has taken a role in it. For him, who has always been surrounded by the scream of girls, it was not easy for him to take up such a challenge and even worse, films about wars are those would be dodged by the younger generation. However, when he heard that his fans and the younger generation have discussed the film on the internet, he was really touched and grateful.
‘As a new born generation, we don’t understand what a war is but we cannot say because of our ignorance, then the things are not existed in the world. If my taking part in this film can make youngsters feel something about the wars, I do think I have done a really meaningful job.’
‘Yes, I am a singer but I have not taken my image and popularity into consideration when I decided to take the role in the movie. What I was thinking is I really wanted to yell and convey some messages to people.’
‘ I have always had strong feelings about conveying messages through my songs or acting. However, I do not think that I should always be the role model of others. As an artist, there are times that I want to change the world and speak out the truth of things happening around us. I always want to present something new to the audience and sometimes, I do feel the pressure of it is very strong.Maybe,it is the destiny of an artist.’
What we feel about these sentences is TOP is really proud of being an icon of the generation and a singer. He should be able to make clear of his identity now, right?
‘However, even until now, I would also reflect what I have done within a day on my own. Yesterday, today, and the stuff which is going to happen tomorrow, I remember all of them one by one. It seems that I like torturing myself. (laugh) However, I think, if I do not accumulate such kind of reflection, no new ideas would be come up in my mind no matter it is lyrics or acting skills. Therefore, I am that kind of person who cannot stop torturing himself. There is pain in such a process but I know such kind of suffering would be transformed into a great source of power. That’s why I am not scared or unsecured. '
He really enjoys what he is doing now. TOP said comparing to falling in love and playing, he prefers totally obsessed in his work.
‘For example, when I was recalling my past memories, I have also the memory of ‘loving someone so crazily’. But when compared to love memories, I want to become that kind of person who will ‘devote all of his youth to his career’. Then, when I recall my memories in the future, I can proudly say I have not wasted even 1 day of my life since I had worked really hard ’
There are loads that I want to do. There are loads that I want to achieve.
‘What do I have to achieve then I can be called to be achieve success? I do not really know but I think the definition of success is different for each of us. And it varies according to our value system too. No matter who we are, only we know what we are striving for.’
Although he thinks like this but we really want to know to him, who enjoys great popularity in both Japan and Korea, what successful means to him—For this youngster who has just been 23, he said with a shy smile wearing on his face,
‘I think it would not be appropriate for me to define what success is since I am just too young and immature now. However, I want to bring great influence to the world like what Beatles and Rolling Stones did. I want to affect the generation like what they did to us and be an ‘era turner’. I want the history can mark down the era ‘before and after BIGBANG’ and ‘before and after TOP’. I think it is a really worthwhile target for me to strive for.’
His dream is big but we know from his manner, he is not arrogant. In Japan, if possible, he would go to have sushi and if he can get one more BE@BRICK, he would be so happy. Instead of saying he like things that are Japanese, we should rather describe him as being close to the Japanese youth of his age.
‘But I have not had any in-depth conversation with any Japanese artists. If there is a chance, I want to discuss with them about how we think of music, acting and future plans, etc.’
What will the Japanese artists tell him at that time? Will their hearts be captured by this very self-displined youth?
Source: GOETHE Magazine + Scanned: As tagged
Chinese Translation: 肉肉@bigbangfamily.com
English Translation: Rice@BigbangWORLD
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